My dad’s birthday is tomorrow, his 56th. Long live the king. Another day older, another day wiser I guess you could say. We’ve haven’t always seen eye to eye but there has always been a mutual respect between us. His understanding of the world is obviously a whole lot different from mine because of the different times he grew up in. He knows how to use a computer obviously, but there is still many other technological things that would be a mystery to him, like smartphones and tablets. I’m seeing him more often than ever since my parents split, nearly every day now, which is a good sign that our relationship will start to strengthen more over time.
When you cut something with scissors, do you move your jaw (as if you were about to chew)?
The only time I believe this happened was when I rubbed my finger against the edge of some paper and got a paper cut, which hurts briefly. I think if the thing I’m cutting is really thick and requires some extra effort to cut, I’d be moving my jaw in frustration, or gritting my teeth, trying to put some strength into it.
Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Only when I am deeply pondering an idea to write down. I used to chew the end of my pens (chewing pencils has a nasty wood taste). This is a bad habit that I’m glad doesn’t exist.
Are you a collector of anything? If so what?
For a while I was collecting all of the quarters from the 50 state quarter project but then a certain person came along and stole them all, discarding the empty quarter map behind a dresser, all crumpled up. I have a small collection of bottle caps, seashells, and rocks.
What size is your bed?
It’s just a mattress on the floor right now (bed frame coming soon), and is just big enough to have me stretch from head to toe and fit all on it.
The blogging year for me hasn’t been quite that great. I’ve posted less and have lost focus on keeping a consistent style. This stems from the fact that I have started to care less about running a blog and more about just enjoying my life as it is and feeling free to do what I want, like rediscovering the joys of watching YouTube again and playing video games. My purpose with blogging is it to simply learn how to write and express my thoughts, in ways that I have a hard time doing out loud. Sure I want to become successful at this…someday…but I don’t want it to become such a burden in my life that I have no time for anything else anymore. That is why I fallen off the pace so much because following a daily posting schedule was just proving to be too hard. But I guess I need to get motivated again in order to continue blogging with a purpose. Getting hungry again means looking down the road and figuring out my goals, whatever they may be. I don’t care if it isn’t always shiny and full of luster or that I’m hitting the right buttons each time, I just want to make sure I am still having fun and actually feeling like I have a life.
There are so many smart people in this world, many of them way smarter than I am. I am always envious to be on their level, to think and act like them, because there is something so brilliant in taking life for more than what it is.
Is this the real life or is it just fantasy?
So I am finally coming home from Kansas and what a great week it has been. It was my sister’s birthday on the 12th (she turned 21), where we ate at Texas Roadhouse and a really authentic Italian restaurant called Zio’s.
I think I may have found the one this year but I may be fooling myself and setting myself up for some heartbreak and disappointment. I probably won’t see her again for many months and who knows what would have changed by then. At this point it is a silly little love story that hasn’t had nearly enough time to kindle into something greater. I’ve known her for only four days and there seemed to be some something special there but now I’ll have to resort to some long distance Facebook chatting and just being “friends” right now until I see her again, whenever that may be. I have to say my Valentine’s Day weekend down in Lawrence and Olathe, Kansas was quite eventful and fulfilling, more so than any other year so far.
My official/unofficial Valentine’s date was one I surely won’t forget for sometime to come. It wasn’t a cheesy get together but there seemed to be something truly meaningful there. I didn’t want to rush things too fast and have that spark of magic disappear but now that I’m back home and she’s still in Kansas, all I’ve got now is some sweet first moments to cling to and they may be just dead ends or the beginnings of something big in the future.
I am fully aware
Of the world as it is
Ebbing and flowing
An endless pulsing current
Trying to keep up
But my feet slip up
As the crowds rush on
As the times rush on
Always on the move
Yesterday is now just a memory
Tomorrow will be something new
The train is moving again. The glorious sounds of the engine meshing with the blurring of the landscape as the Amtrak rushes, backwards from my seat position, through the countryside of Michigan, the lush forests, farms, and hills of an old land that reflects the early days of the state and even the country, when cities were few and far.
We’re packed up and ready for another trip down to Olathe, Kansas. This would be the 5th or 6th time that the family is headed down to the Heartland to see the youngest sister and her significant other, the first time being in the summer of 2014 when we visited the University of Kansas. Kansas is still quite new to us as we have only scratched the surface of it, having only been near the border cities and not into the deep part of the state.
The conductor checked my ticket again today, as he always does, scanning it and giving it back to me where I place it back in the top compartment of my luggage bag.
Because of Kansas, I get the song “Dust in the Wind” playing in my head, and eventually on my computer. It is a song symbolizing our short time on this earth, that in the end we are just made up of earth stuff, living our lives and then being recycled back into the environment, continuing the cycle. We rent a period of time here to do as much as we can, to explore and learn about our history and what is beyond our imagination. The band is actually from Topeka, Kansas and released “Dust in the Wind” in 1977. The title comes from a passage in the Bible by Ecclesiastes:
I reflected on everything that is accomplished by man on earth, and I concluded:
Everything he has accomplished is futile — like chasing the wind!
In the end, everything we do, all the money we may or may not have, doesn’t matter one little bit, because all of it doesn’t go with us. The only thing we can hold onto are our hopes and dreams and to believe that there is more to life than just living and dying.
It sure is a big break from me playing video games for many hours straight, only getting up once in a while to eat something or use the facilities. I’ve become so addicted to playing Batman: Arkham Knight, the explosive finale in the Arkham series of games. Probably one of the best games I’ve played in a while, besides Skyrim, which is why I’ve had a hard time putting it down, because there is so much to see and do. From what I know so far, near 90% completion of the game, it is the ending stories of several high profile criminals in Gotham, and they all get locked up in prison, though I’m not sure yet if they escape or get released by some outside help.
For now, I continue to listen to the train’s whistle as it rumbles down the track. The usual route is stopping in Chicago at Union Station and then taking a bus to Wisconsin, but that is not the case this time. It will be a longer train ride to Lawrence, Kansas, going through a lot of flat farmland in Illinois and Missouri. It sure is a lot better than driving down there, which is what we did the first time, staring at boring scenery for hours and hours, but I remember it fondly and cherish every moment of it.