So, out of the blue let’s say we don’t call a chair a chair anymore. Instead, it is called…a jastelo. A random word from my mind that replaces the old aged one, something new and exciting. Google auto-correct suggests that it be changed to tasteless. Hmm…that’s interesting. Maybe I don’t have any taste in choosing this word. There’s really no meaning behind it. I just felt like pulling a Frindle on this one since I’ve lacking creativity to think of something sensible. By the way, that book is nearly 20 years old, and the last time I heard it read was back in third grade by a much younger Mr. Davidson.
Jastelo [jos – tell – oh] : a piece of furniture used for reclining or relaxation. Coined by a tasteless blogger sometime in 2015.
“Hey, thanks for joining us. Pull up a chair, mate.”
“A chair. Come join us. We’ve got cards and cold beer.”
“What’s a chair?”
“What do you mean? A chair is what you sit in, you silly bloke. Grab one from that table over there.”
“I think the word you’re looking for is jastelo.”
“Huh? Jastelo? Quit messing around, that’s not a word, least one I’ve heard of yet.”
“Sure it is. You’re all sitting in jastelos now. Kind of old and worn but they serve well.”
“So, you’re saying that you’ve decided to replace the ordinary word chair with this nonsense word you apparently made up?”
“Yup, and everyone is going to be using it in no time. From now on, no one will say chair again.”
“You sure about that? I can think of a two million people who would be happy with saying cha –
“No, say jastelo. This has to catch on. First this entire pub, then the entire city, then the state, then the country, then the world, and then aliens from other worlds will pick up on the word – just kidding about that.”
“You’re a crazy nutter, ya know that?”
“Say that again in about a year when this thing goes viral.”
“Okay then. Grab a jastelo and get ready to witness the greatest card player in the world take down these goons. Or should I call this game…folps?”
“Nah, won’t catch on.”
One year later….
“Alright, kids. Who wants to play musical jastelos?”, asks a teacher to her group of kindergartners.
“Yeah!”, they all scream, piling around the carpet.
A video is shot of another instance of this game with a new name and seen on YouTube. I happen to watch it and smile, reclining and relaxing in my chair – I mean jastelo. At least two-thirds of the world now use the word jastelo everyday – and it’s universal in language as well, replacing that other word that was becoming dull and unimaginative.
Doing a random Google search for my new word, I find over two million hits for it, from mentions on blogs, news sites, videos, and in the title of trending songs as well, one by country superstar Brad Paisley – “As I Sit In My Jastelo (Waiting For You)”.
March 6, 2017
“Welcome to channel 7 news at six. This is Brian McGregor reporting.”
“Thank you. Our first topic of the evening has to do with the Washington school board voting down the 24/7 use of police officers around the school. The head jasteloman of the board – there’s that word again that has taken the world by storm – spoke with us today about the issue.”
“So, Mr. Chair – I mean Jasteloman, what made the board decide to vote this down?”
“Well, we figured having an all day surveillance around the building would cost more money and would not be very good for student and faculty moral as well. We want to create a safe environment but not one that has everyone in fear.”
Sometime in 2070
They all gathered around the gravestone in the evening tribute, over three thousand people ranging from famous celebrities, jubilant fans, important businessman and friends and family. There was a grand musical performance by a famous singer as well as a large banquet of delicious food.
On this person’s headstone said this:
Here lies the creator of the word jastelo. May we forever use it with pride and respect.
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: Play Lexicographer
Create a new word and explain its meaning and etymology.
Some other interesting takes on this: