A Selfish Love

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.
– Ernest Hemmingway

This amazing little quote by the great Hemmingway took me a little while to understand and analyze,  but then it all became clear as day. In my own words, I believe it means that by placing a higher importance of one person over yourself and becoming so enchanted by their life, you begin to think anything you do will not be as good and is not worth mentioning. You get lost in the glory of their presence. Whether it be famous celebrities, musicians, Internet icons, writers, or anyone at the top of their game, I think we can all say this “selfish love”, this willingness to follow and admire these people day by day, get to know their ins and outs, be a so-called paparazzo, and forget your life has a purpose as well, resides within us all. This applies to my life and coming across a number of things I thought people did just a little better than me, which made me, in turn, stop to think if I should improve myself to be on their level of greatness or if even trying to reach their level of success is futile and that I should just give up. Yes, they always say you shouldn’t compare yourself to others, but sometimes it can’t be helped because following the “norm” is where the best things lie.

There are a number of bloggers, or to be more accurate, actual published writers, on this grand publishing platform that I admire greatly and whose work I place on a higher level than my own. I’m not saying my stuff isn’t good (self confidence pat on the back) but whenever I read the posts of other bloggers, especially those who have been featured on “Freshly Pressed” (a feature I rarely, if ever, use), I get this realization that what I put out would probably look silly and amateur if placed alongside theirs. It humbles me. But we’re not here to compete with anyone, are we? Everyone is entitled to their own style of blogging and being different is what makes everything fun. Like the pile of alphabet letters above – every glyph is unique and serves its own purpose, has it’s own rhyme and reason. Unlike the bags of pistachios below, all the same, manufactured under a recurring brand, optimized for your enjoyment each time.


Learning the tricks of the trade from those who have done it best is probably the best part about blogging (or anything else) since you only push yourself to be better each time. I don’t have any “selfish love” on here since I don’t follow any one person every day and usually am working on my own thing and making myself feel special. There are days when I don’t read anyone’s posts at all, but when one comes along that literally makes me say “Wow”, there clicks in my head the need for more self improvement, admiring what they did so well, wanting to mimic or at least be inspired by it. Being humble and modest, never giving myself too much credit or importance, and not having a big-headed ego keeps me leveled and focused on continuing to improve everytime, instead of assuming I’ve already reached my peak and am already the best I can be.

It’s okay to have people you admire and care about everyday, even a person in your family, or a spouse, if you’re married, but don’t let their needs and wants outweigh your own personal agenda. You have a life to live as well, have a right to choose what you like and dislike, instead of catering to their needs. That’s the number one reason so many marriages never last – the balance of power is always out of whack, one side always wants more. Thank goodness I’m not married right now or I would never be able to live my ideal life which right now consists of video making, writing, photography, and anything else on the side that makes up my ideal personality. I’m not saying I ever want to get married but going solo right now has its benefits, for better or worse.

That’s the one mistake I made with my last real girlfriend (nearly six years ago in high school); I lost track of what I wanted to do in life, lost track of my goals, my aspirations, since I was so wrapped up in her life (which never amounted to much). I never realized I should have been thinking about the ideal college I wanted to go to, the career option I wanted to study for. That was all put on the back burner and when it came time to start thinking about that stuff, I realized I hadn’t even thought about my future that much, that time was already becoming tight and things felt like they were being rushed, which is why I ended up going to a community college for a year, trying to settle on something until I figured out what I really wanted to do. I don’t regret being in a relationship since it made me feel whole and have emotions I never felt before, but now I realize it was all silly business, a silly teenage romance (we never dated again), and there were more important things I should have been thinking about, which would have made my future today just a tad bit different. But the past is the past and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can only keep looking to the future for the light that finally shines my way.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: Third From the Top

Head to “Blogs I Follow” in the Reader. Scroll down to the third post in the list. Take the third sentence in the post, and work it into your own.


Author: Macbofisbil

Welcome to "Macbofisbil: An Awesome Mind", a place where you will find all sorts of interesting stories, pictures, and advice on life in general.

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