Oh, look. The Pulitzer Prize crew van has shown up on my street. What seems to be the occasion? What house must they be going toward? Wait, they are heading down to the end of the street where I live…and now turning into my driveway. The van must be looking to turn around, but no, a bearded man shuts off the engine and gets out, along with a bunch of other intellectually looking hipsters. They bound up the steps one by one, jockeying for position.
Knock, knock. Knock, knock.
“Hello?” I say after opening the door to these suspicious looking people. I’m barefoot and in my pajamas, my curious black cat has run off and hid, afraid of these unknown alien intruders. These visitors are probably not even a Pulitzer Prize committee and that sign on the van is probably over one that says “Floral Arrangements, Inc.” I take it with a grain of salt.
“Hello, we are reporters for the Pulitzer Prize committee and we have decided to run an in-depth story on your life.”
An in-depth piece about me? Well, that’s going to be a stretch now is it. Me and my highly interesting life *cough, cough*.
“Really? How did you find out about me of all people?”
“From reading your blog at macbofisbil.com and deciding that your photographs, poems, short stories, and occasional humor pieces were inspirational and ideal candidates for a story about you. We would like to know more.”
Okay, so today my black panther like cat had on a pair of plushy devil costume ears, looking adorable and spoiled as ever – an opportunistic photo prompt that I couldn’t pass up. The Manchester also has cable TV for the first time in four years, the limited number of channels on the basic tier not taking away the excitement of breaking out the walled garden we’ve been trapped in for so long.
“Well, you must have really enjoyed it then. Yes, I have worked really hard on that part of my life, which has become a necessity. I’ve had my bad days and my really good days and have learned much about the blogosphere.”
“Brilliant. Do you mind if we step inside and find a place to conduct the story?”, said the bearded man in a hand-me-down suit.
“No, I don’t mind, but just give me a chance to clean up a little and get dressed. I can’t interview looking like I just rolled out of bed.” Which I did look like with my bad case of bed hair and five o clock shadow.
These curious individuals are going to ask me questions, no doubt, and I’d better be ready for anything they throw at me. At least one of them, perhaps the woman with glasses wearing a red cardigan and skirt, has won an actual Pulitzer Prize.
“Our Pulitzer Prize winning reporter – ” the cardigan woman waves and smiles while looking down at her notes – “will be conducting the interview.”
Exactly as I thought.
Wow, this day just turned from boring and ordinary to highly memorable.
There are three questions though that I hope the high-class Ms. Cardigan chick doesn’t ask me:
What is it that you do for a living?
I sit down at a laptop everyday and write a blog, putting in my best effort to publish posts that are interesting and leave positive notes in readers mind. Oh, you were expecting something a little more exciting or inspirational, a little more moving? Sorry miss, I could have become a doctor or teacher but my heart wasn’t in it.
What do you see yourself doing in five years?
Ugh, I hate this question. Let’s not talk about the future, OK? All I know is that I’ll be on the doorstep of 30 in five years and the current president will be running for reelection, if he or she hasn’t quit by then, owing to how stressful it is. Talking about my life five years down the road is kind of scary and depressing, because I don’t want to have dreams that I can’t live up to and I sure don’t want to age too fast. Sure, I would love to be married or at least have a career going by 2020, but it’s better to take one step at a time instead of looking so far ahead.
Do you aspire to win a Pulitzer Prize someday, like me?
Um, yeah, I would be honored to receive that prestigious award, but first I have to get my cats to grow wings and fly. Listen, I’m not setting out to change the world, I’m just looking to enjoy and have fun in my life. I’m also looking to improve upon what my parents failed to do.
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Trick Questions.”
A Pulitzer Prize winning reporter is doing an in-depth report – on you. What are three questions you hope she doesn’t ask you?