“Good things come to those who wait.”
But those that hustle get there much sooner.
Am I ambitious enough for this high stakes world? I’m not really sure. I definitely still have many things to accomplish, many things to prove. I feel as if my message hasn’t quite gotten out there yet, is still circling around in a current or acting as a boomerang, always coming straight back to me with a return address as if they aren’t interested. I hate those thoughts that say I can’t do something, that I’m crazy for even thinking I can.
That’s the problem I have right now with wanting to achieve something much greater than myself, that I have to go to such great lengths to do it, have to enter quite a few scary situations, do a few crazy things to realize I can. Living in a small town is difficult for the dreamer because you don’t often have access to the people that will help you get over the barrier, you’ll often be faced with derision and feelings of hopelessness. There are many people around me that are negative about life, that have never realized their full capabilities. They are scared. Scared of change. They might as well become a product of the system than do anything differently. There are two sides to my family – the people that that took the road to a happy, fulfilling life of wealth and success, and the people that took the simpler path to a more average life that doesn’t have much in the way of prospects, is full of dead ends, but they are happy anyway.
I’m tired of wanting to shut myself away from the world. I want to shine, but it’s always painful to come out of my comfort zone. Over the past few years I’ve been working to find a place where I am most comfortable, which has always seemed to be in a space where I am alone, but not too alone as to elicit depressive thoughts. Too much social contact tends to drain my batteries and I need to be alone to recharge.
I hear it all the time: you have to be persistent, you have to keep working hard, you have to make them believe in you. There is always one more mile to go to making yourself better. Having an ambition means committing your life to accomplishing goals and knocking down barriers that are in your way. And the more people you meet and follow that have the same kind of dreams as you do, the more you realize they aren’t so crazy and ridiculous after all.