Klumsy

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I am sometimes so clumsy and forgetful that I end up losing something important. This could be credit/debit cards or microSD cards (which BTW, is the name everyone uses for those tiny cards, even if they aren’t made by SanDisk). That is why I have had to spend so many dollars on those small cards, wanting to have one for my camera and phone so I don’t have to keep switching out. I’ve also lost my share of guitar picks (they’re awkward to use anyway).

I’ve tripped and fallen over various shoes, kicking them out of the way in frustration, even swearing at them. The shoes then proceed to just stare at me in a mocking way, sitting on the spot, as if it isn’t their fault. This is the same with the cupboard doors. I’ll hit my melon sized head on one as I raise it from the counterspace, yowling in pain, slamming the culprit really hard. Really stupid because a dish breaks or something falls off the wall, like a mirror, shattering into many shards, little pieces I don’t notice being stepped on later (like but happened a couple weeks ago).

There was once a clumsy lad named Mike
Whose dad never taught him to ride a bike
He fell to the ground
And broke his crown
That was the end of that knight

Clumsy

The spelling of the word “clumsy” in the title refers to the character K. Lumsy in Donkey Kong 64, the big monster that was somehow locked in a cage too big for the rock enclosure it was in.

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Jokester

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I once hid myself in a box
Alone with just the clock
My mother came by
I jumped out in surprise
Her heart skipped a notch

That’s right – I did this little prank a few years ago, to her utter shock. A good laugh was shared afterward. I can ensure you her heart is in proper order.

Joke

St. Patty’s Special

St. Patrick's Green Beer

We Irish lads like to drink green beer

On this special day every year

But it’s not great craft

It’s just food colored draft

Shut up and let us enjoy it here

WPC: One Love

Halloween Riot

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My Donald Trump pumpkin carving, which took about an hour and a half to make

Halloween was a cheerful all nighter,
The haunted house and the chainsaw choir
The kids walked up to my door,
Candy I had no more,
So they proceeded to set my house on fire!

Of course that last line didn’t happen, but it was another Midwest Halloween for me that was more quiet and somber than in previous years, with both of my sisters being away and the good ole days of trick or treating getting further and further in the mirror – I didn’t even dress up this year. The walk through the park’s haunted house was better than I expected, was really spooky and believable. A white faced Michael Myers impersonator really did a good job of creeping me out after I had a moment’s stare at him, following behind me in the maze and then meeting me at the end where a man revving a real chainsaw (or was it just a sound effect?) had me worried that I quickly got out of there. The rain poured down tonight, leaving a really damp and depressing All Saint’s Eve, not prime weather for our little costumed heroes that it was all over by 8:00. I didn’t run out of candy, that’s for sure, and there weren’t any riots.


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Trick or Trick.”

Let’s imagine it’s Halloween, and you just ran out of candy. If the neighborhood kids (or anyone else, really) were to truly scare you, what trick would they have to subject you to?

Repeating the Halloween prompt from last year? Fine, I’ll take it. My first response was a revenge poem as well.

Imperfection is Beauty

I never said I was a perfect guy
I’ve got my troubles, that
Bum lazy eye
And like the buildings that crumble and creak
My confidence strong but,
Emotion soft and meek
Still love spreading horseradish and mayo on rye


Writing 201: Day 4 – Imperfect, Limerick, Enjambment

Wishing Well

A man once found a well

It seemed to cast a magical spell

Threw a copper penny down

Watched it spin and drown

Wished he could forget his awful smell


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Three Coins in the Fountain.”

Have you ever tossed a coin or two into a fountain and made a wish? Did it come true?

U is for Under the Sea

Photo credit: buzzfeed.com
Photo credit: buzzfeed.com

A friendly sting-ray under the sea
Came up to the glass to talk to me
Said, “How do you stand there and poke and laugh,
While I swim around this water that has quite the draft?”
That was the last he saw of me

April A to Z Challenge