Engaged

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And so this chapter ends

Not with me

But with him

My futile efforts

To win her love

Now ends with a ring

This minute era

Now memories cherished

But locked, key thrown away

The sun will rise

The moon will wane

The ocean’s tide

The April rain

Reminding me of sweet perfume

And eyes of a misty glaze

That one February day

On the edge of the great plain

Holds a place in my brain

 

 

Caprice

The name might as well fit her personality: she’s full of sudden and unaccountable changes of mood or behavior, the very definition of the word. It’s a name I have never come across until I met her, first on Skype, then in real life. It’s beautiful, it’s simple, and makes me think of flowers and a tropical setting, especially when shortened to Capri, like the pants, the Italian island, and the juice concentrate drink.

Image result for isle of capri

We met on February 12th, went out on a mini date on February 14th at the Main Event center in Olathe, Kansas. It was sweet. It was fun. It was innocent. We bowled, played arcade games, including Laser Tag, air hockey, and Guitar Hero. I guess that counts as a “romantic” date since she did give me a convincing signal with the way she touch my hand and did a little dance with her fingers, me escalating the gesture, assuming that it was safe to launch things to the next level. Or maybe I’m overthinking this too much. It’s been a couple weeks now. We’ve both moved on from that initial meetup.

Then I had to leave for home on the train. I haven’t seen her since and miss her a little more everyday, because I can’t do anything about it and she’s got a lot of other guys on speed dial as is, so I’m not really that important when the long distance is easily replaced with someone else.

I truly thought we had a pact, but it turns out she’s nothing more than a used doll. Easy and manipulative. And now I’m searching once again. Maybe there’s still hope for us in the future, once she gets her life together, but counting on that is like counting on the car to start in a horror film chase.

It lasted a mere three weeks and now might as well never have existed. That Valentine’s Day card I got her doesn’t mean much now but I guess was just, for the moment, a nice gift. I guess she was going through a rough patch at the time and is now feeling pretty good now, having found another “boyfriend”, who she loves and melts for after only a few days. She’s only 19 years old and quite immature, but has the looks of a goddess. The one I wouldn’t want to get away. The one I can imagine spending the rest of my life with, those caprices set aside. We all have caprices; no one is 100% sure on anything. Ideas and priorities are always changing, dreams coming and going when other things get in the way.

She’s not perfect. I fully realize that now.

Instinct

Most Beautiful

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The most beautiful girl I’ve met
On the outside she is perfect
But on the inside she is broken
I’m glad I got a chance to know her
But we must allow time to pass
Must part ways
In order to appreciate one another

Hooked

hooked

I’m hooked and I can’t let go

The connection gets stronger

I hope it’s not a mistake

A regret down the road

Sabotaging dreams, hopes

In favor of a temporary happiness

Maybe eternal

But the reward seems so sweet

If only for a moment

Number Three

Number three has yet to happen
Number three been open for years
I think it’s about time to settle the score
Will you be my number three
So I don’t have to wait no more?

Valentine’s Day

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Is this the real life or is it just fantasy?

So I am finally coming home from Kansas and what a great week it has been. It was my sister’s birthday on the 12th (she turned 21), where we ate at Texas Roadhouse and a really authentic Italian restaurant called Zio’s.

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I think I may have found the one this year but I may be fooling myself and setting myself up for some heartbreak and disappointment. I probably won’t see her again for many months and who knows what would have changed by then. At this point it is a silly little love story that hasn’t had nearly enough time to kindle into something greater. I’ve known her for only four days and there seemed to be some something special there but now I’ll have to resort to some long distance Facebook chatting and just being “friends” right now until I see her again, whenever that may be. I have to say my Valentine’s Day weekend down in Lawrence and Olathe, Kansas was quite eventful and fulfilling, more so than any other year so far.

My official/unofficial Valentine’s date was one I surely won’t forget for sometime to come. It wasn’t a cheesy get together but there seemed to be something truly meaningful there. I didn’t want to rush things too fast and have that spark of magic disappear but now that I’m back home and she’s still in Kansas, all I’ve got now is some sweet first moments to cling to and they may be just dead ends or the beginnings of something big in the future.

Complicated

The road to eternal happiness

That is a complicated endeavor

Many times you will fall down

And cry your eyes out

Hoping for better days

But with friends and family around

The gift of love is everlasting and abundant

And your worries can be cast out of the window

For love is the ultimate healing power to all

Darkness, death, and fear

 

For the Song Lyrics of the Day challenge, I provided the song “Don’t Stop Believin” By Journey. It’s always a great song to listen to in times of despair and hopelessness.