It’s hard work finding out who you really are in life, hard work putting in all the effort to get the pieces in place and then hope it all stays together. There is always a comparison to someone else, someone else a little more successful than you and more popular, someone you want to be but know it would only be really possible in a dream.
This past year I have worked hard on this blog, trying to post everyday and establish the ebb and flow of this site, get into a consistent stream and away from the jerky one off posts. I didn’t exactly accomplish the task of posting every day (I made it to January 24th) but I did post more often, many times at the bad habit of minutes to midnight, doing something I rarely ever do which is stay committed to something. I grinded it out, I fought against my writer’s block demons, my distractions and procrastination.
At this point in my life that has seen many changes already from people dying to siblings moving away, to old and new animals enter and leave the house, I really want to find my calling in life. I established this writing base of mine for basically one reason: to not have to do it later in life.
Would I love to be anyone but me? Most definitely. I’d love to be someone who gets instantly recognized and makes millions of dollars for doing something stupid on TV or the internet. I’d love to have the feeling of being validated and knowing you are definitely a winner, someone who is important. I’d love to be living in a huge mansion in a huge city. I’d love to be one of the singers performing in Times Square tonight in front of the entire world. I’d love to be the President and literally be the voice of the people. I’d love to be someplace more interesting tonight than here in my boring home, living it up with parties and dancing. And the feeling of shame in the morning when all of the confetti has settled and there are a great number of people hungover.
But I love being me. I love finding that uniqueness, something that makes me special. There is really no pressure on me to succeed and having no claim to fame means there is not much to fall from. If I became someone else, there would be a learning curve with all of the new friends and family I’d have to get to know. I’d have to get used to living in a new city and settle into all of the cultural trends. Would I be comfortable living as someone who is in the spotlight? I don’t know. I’d feel as if there would be more pressure on me to succeed, the pressure to keep working and pleasing the fans. I hate pressure. It drives away away creative freedom in exchange for doing something in a hurry against a deadline. I’d rather work at my own pace, on my own time.
2016 might or might not be more of the same as 2015. I’m definitely going to buckle down and look for a job, not matter how crappy it might be. I would love to move away from home and into my own place. The whole family might move to the heartland of Kansas. It would be nice to have new scenery for a change and a new outlook on life, but knowing life as it is, the cap on discovering inspirational new things will always be in play.
Some of my blogging goals for 2016:
Read and comment on blogs more often, at least one everyday (I faltered this year on that, but don’t exactly feel bad about it).
Try even harder to be more consistent on “quality posts”
Get to 500 or more followers by the end of the year
Read more of the “Freshly Pressed” content on WordPress to get a sense of what else is out there
Participate in the NaNoWriMo and other writing events, looking for new inspiration
As for the whole of 2016 in general, I hope it turns out to be another wonderful, awesome year. I wish for that one event that will leapfrog me to new heights. I will continue to improve on who I am, not what others want me to be. What’s the use in living if you can’t be happy with who you are? Doesn’t everyone have a chance to be someone special? Let’s make 2016 the year of me, not the year of who I wish I would be.
I’m sharing a bit of my world a little late, in the final week of 2014, but it was fun to answer these questions provided by Cee. Read on to see another dimension of My Awesome Life.
Would you prefer snowy winters, or not, and why?
Yes, I would, because they allow me to think differently, to go outside and view the world as something more beautiful. Snowy winters are great because they make me feel like I’m walking in a winter wonderland, not to sound too cliché. That’s not happening so far this year in Michigan though, at least not where I am located in the lower part of the mitten, because there is no snow. We had a brief period of snow in November that had me all excited, seeing everything being covered under a hibernation blanket, but then it all melted. Last year at this time, we were experiencing one of the most brutal winters in a long time, snow getting to at least six inches high, having to be plowed away into huge hills such as the one that inspired the picture I took above for my 365 project this year.
So, you’re on your way out and it’s raining. Do you know where your umbrella is or do you frantically search for it all over your apartment/house?
I don’t have an umbrella, but should get one though! It does rain frequently here in Michigan and I usually get caught with my head bared when I am out in the open, drenching my clothes, on the brink of catching pneumonia. If I did have one though, I would probably keep it right near my coat, so I could pick up both at the same time when going out in the rain.
Do you prefer your food separated or mixed together?
Mixing my food together gives it a new, distinct flavor, in my opinion, and I usually enjoy it more because my taste buds are being overwhelmed with the delicious flavors of this fusion. The food being separated just doesn’t feel like a meal. Too bland, too boring. I love when my mashed potatoes, butter, and corn run together, or the cranberry sauce and green bean casserole end up becoming a little more than just friends at Thanksgiving…
What is set as the background on your computer?
This hasn’t been changed in a while.
Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?
Last week, me and my family visited the eldest daughter in Wisconsin as well as her soon to be husband and his son. We had a mini Christmas in a Baymont hotel room (me getting everything on video). I am grateful to have had such a fun time, to have these memories to share forever, to have received a hug from my sister before we left her again for Michigan. Next week we will be in January (shouldn’t this be Share Your World Week 52? Unless it was started in the second week of 2014…), and I am looking forward to starting college at Western Michigan University, beginning my Bachelor’s degree program. I’m also looking forward to expanding my photography skills, maybe signing up for 500px. There has also been a bubbling idea of mine to do a project next year of taking a photo of one part of my body every day (I’ll have to calculate how this will exactly work though).