Engaged

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And so this chapter ends

Not with me

But with him

My futile efforts

To win her love

Now ends with a ring

This minute era

Now memories cherished

But locked, key thrown away

The sun will rise

The moon will wane

The ocean’s tide

The April rain

Reminding me of sweet perfume

And eyes of a misty glaze

That one February day

On the edge of the great plain

Holds a place in my brain

 

 

Caprice

The name might as well fit her personality: she’s full of sudden and unaccountable changes of mood or behavior, the very definition of the word. It’s a name I have never come across until I met her, first on Skype, then in real life. It’s beautiful, it’s simple, and makes me think of flowers and a tropical setting, especially when shortened to Capri, like the pants, the Italian island, and the juice concentrate drink.

Image result for isle of capri

We met on February 12th, went out on a mini date on February 14th at the Main Event center in Olathe, Kansas. It was sweet. It was fun. It was innocent. We bowled, played arcade games, including Laser Tag, air hockey, and Guitar Hero. I guess that counts as a “romantic” date since she did give me a convincing signal with the way she touch my hand and did a little dance with her fingers, me escalating the gesture, assuming that it was safe to launch things to the next level. Or maybe I’m overthinking this too much. It’s been a couple weeks now. We’ve both moved on from that initial meetup.

Then I had to leave for home on the train. I haven’t seen her since and miss her a little more everyday, because I can’t do anything about it and she’s got a lot of other guys on speed dial as is, so I’m not really that important when the long distance is easily replaced with someone else.

I truly thought we had a pact, but it turns out she’s nothing more than a used doll. Easy and manipulative. And now I’m searching once again. Maybe there’s still hope for us in the future, once she gets her life together, but counting on that is like counting on the car to start in a horror film chase.

It lasted a mere three weeks and now might as well never have existed. That Valentine’s Day card I got her doesn’t mean much now but I guess was just, for the moment, a nice gift. I guess she was going through a rough patch at the time and is now feeling pretty good now, having found another “boyfriend”, who she loves and melts for after only a few days. She’s only 19 years old and quite immature, but has the looks of a goddess. The one I wouldn’t want to get away. The one I can imagine spending the rest of my life with, those caprices set aside. We all have caprices; no one is 100% sure on anything. Ideas and priorities are always changing, dreams coming and going when other things get in the way.

She’s not perfect. I fully realize that now.

Instinct

Waiting

I’m waiting for her

To see if she cares

To see if I’m important

To see if I should be there

There are better things to do

Then sit by the phone

And wonder who will make the next move

I could be achieving my dreams

Advancing my degree

For the first time in weeks

My head feels clear

Feels clear to move ahead

To make leaps and bounds again

With no one holding me back

But in the back of my mind

I still want her

To talk to me and be the chase

To have the tables turned

And her missing me

The Patriarch

My dad’s birthday is tomorrow, his 56th. Long live the king. Another day older, another day wiser I guess you could say. We’ve haven’t always seen eye to eye but there has always been a mutual respect between us. His understanding of the world is obviously a whole lot different from mine because of the different times he grew up in. He knows how to use a computer obviously, but there is still many other technological things that would be a mystery to him, like smartphones and tablets. I’m seeing him more often than ever since my parents split, nearly every day now, which is a good sign that our relationship will start to strengthen more over time.

Missing You

Constantly thinking of you

Can’t get you off my mind

You’re like flies to fly paper

Always there, sticking behind

It’s a rooted comfort, knowing you’re still there

Like having a safety net, a place to fall when danger is in the air

My fire blanket to a smoldering fire

My escape plan to an inescapable prison

I’ll always fall back on the thought of you

Today, tomorrow, yesterday too

#NaNoPoblano2016 Day 17

Zoosk Is Great But

Behold – the number one dating app called Zoosk that I previously viewed as a joke of a dating service, something designed for teenagers, and not at all competitive with big time players like match and eHarmony.

Zoosk is an awesome dating app but having to pay big money, in my case, to view messages and do anything beyond a wink makes this dating app really ineffective.

I want to meet people in my area, like right away, but the need to fork out all the money I have is the barrier between love.

According to Zoosk, my ideal match is literally one mile away, like right down the street somewhere, and it’s kind of silly that I would have to pay 30 dollars a month to talk to her when I could just go up to her door and meet her (not really, that would be creepy).

Here are their prices:

$14.98/mo (one time price of $74.85)
$19.95/mo (one time of $59.85)
$29.95/mo (one time of $29.95)

And there are hidden costs as well.

Overall, you’re going to be paying close to $1000 a year to get the most out of this dating service. Overall, I wouldn’t recommend using this dating service because it’s run by a money hungry corporation. Go out and find someone the old fashioned way because money shouldn’t have to buy you love. There are cheaper alternatives to the elaborate money making scheme Zoosk is running.

Zoosk coins and gifts are a waste of time on the site as well. It’s fun to use the app on my phone, playing the Carousel game of Yes, No, or Maybe and swiping left and there’s joy everytime I see a heart notification at the top of my phone. But I can’t expect to go beyond seeing a couple well selected profile pics and odd flirting method without opening up my wallet and paying to view my match’s profile and interact with her like she’s exclusive property – a hooker.

Until otherwise, you’re fenced in.

Fence

© Macbofisbil